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  • Laura Baum-Parr, PsyS

“Everybody’s Got a Sack of Rocks.”

How do I make sense of my life during this most unusual, difficult time? Do you find yourself asking this question? If you do, just know that you are in good company. It is a question people have asked themselves for generations when life feels confusing, stressful, difficult to bear. The truth is, we are meaning makers – we want to know the meaning of what we are experiencing so we can better understand it and feel a sense of purpose and calm in the midst of the chaos. Consider these three practical strategies:

1. Realize you are not alone in your confusion.

A friend of mine was talking to her friend yesterday and explained this point beautifully. Here is what she said: “I was reminded yesterday of a quote by playwright, John Bay, ‘Everybody’s got a sack of rocks.’ He was commenting on the fact that all of us have burdens to bear, whether known or visible to our friends and other people. No one has a perfect life. How we handle those rocks becomes important, as we have the choice to grab the day or be victimized by it. So I wrapped the river rocks I have collected (loving their shape and smoothness) and I try to think of them as gifts - to make us stronger, or more sensitive, or more realistic when we compare our lives to others’ lives.”

Realizing we are all in this together can reduce feelings of isolation. With regards to Covid-19, the whole world accompanies you on this journey. Find something to remind you that you are not alone – even when sheltering in place. Display it somewhere so that you will see it often to remind you of this important truth.

2. Reflect on what this situation can teach you about yourself.

When we encounter difficulties, the typical human reaction is to either deny they exist or do battle with them. Neither leads to wisdom. In her book, Little Pieces of Light: Darkness and Personal Growth, Joyce Rupp talks about the importance of facing our challenges while asking a very important question:

What does this situation reveal about myself?

As you ponder this question, think about those qualities in yourself that can help – or hinder - your ability to deal with the situation. Then take a piece of paper and write a list of qualities you possess which can be a source of strength for you. For example, perhaps you are a determined person, or are caring towards others. Maybe you have a good sense of humor or are practical in your approach to a problem. Maybe you have the ability to stay calm in a crisis or try to see the best in others.

On a sticky note, write down one or more of these qualities. (You may also choose to write a quality you wish to develop within yourself.) Place the note somewhere visible which you can read numerous times each day. Then be mindful (and gentle with yourself) when your non-helpful qualities kick in, such as when you find yourself worrying about what you cannot control, dwelling on the past, or becoming critical of yourself and others. Tell yourself, I” don’t need to think this way right now.”

3. Practice self-care and self-compassion.

A new resource added this week to our WHA wellness website is Insight Timer: it has the largest free library of guided meditations for adults and children in one location. The categories are: Improve Your Sleep; Coping with Anxiety; Managing Stress; Meditation Music; and Meditation for Kids.

If you have 5 minutes to de-stress, consider clicking on the link below, and then click on Managing Stress. One of the meditations is entitled, Five Minutes of Self-Compassion, by Lisa Abramson. https://insighttimer.com/


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